Remember, you have decided to perform domination as an expression of love and respect for each other. If you are mad with each other, or have any expressions of dislike, distrust or hatred of any kind, you should not try this. It can lead to conscious and subconscious acts of cruelty and possible harm.
Safety should always be the utmost concern when practicing and performing domination. You should always take into account your partner and what they are willing to do for your (and their own) pleasure. A dominatrix who is just starting out should find someone to talk to and discuss techniques with as well as how to use equipment and toys safely. You can learn it from books, but nothing beats hands-on experience. I realize that discussing such things with strangers can be quite uneasy to someone new, but better to learn now, than find out what you did wrong by the Doctor at the Emergency Room. Remember, if someone does get hurt during a session, you are ultimately responsible for that person.
Some things to be careful and mindful of are:
- Before a session, by precaution, you should discuss the state of your pet’s health.
- Before a session, you must decide with your pet on a safe word (ex: “red”) that they can use as a signal if the pain exceeds their limits.
- During a session, you should pay attention for signs of real pain.
- Never leave your pet alone, without supervision, during an activity that represents a danger for him or her. (ex: a difficult position, suffocation).
- When using ropes or any other form of restraint, watch for signs that they are too tight and cutting off circulation to the extremities. These signs can include, swelling, discoloration or a tingling feeling expressed by your pet.
A safe word can be any word or phrase that you both will remember. It can have a meaning to you both or just be a silly word that won’t be used under normal circumstances. Many people use words that mean something to them. For instance, if your partner hates brussel sprouts, this can be used as the Stop word. I and pet “d” have incorporated the same signs used on stop lights that we see every day (red, yellow, green).
- GREEN meaning that he is OK with what I am doing and would like me to continue,
- YELLOW meaning that he is not liking what I am doing at the moment and would like me to stop and do something else but not stop the session, and
- RED meaning that he is hurting or extremely uncomfortable and the session should stop immediately.
You can come up with any safe words that you want, just make sure that you discuss them at length together before starting any session.
*Remember: Domination play is meant to be both for pleasure and fantasy between two trusting and willing participants only. Safety should always be your number one concern and be observed at all times. You should trust your sub as much as he/she has put trust in you to perform these acts.